dear andy, i was on a date with a professional hustler

Dear Andy, I was on a date with a professional hustler. I’ve been separated for over a year and decided to look for someone online. I’m fifty-five, so the online dating scene is new to me. I answered a personal and hoped for the best. His profile said he was thirty-five years old and the picture he displayed is what piqued my interest. He answered back and we started emailing. It was nice getting to know him online. So we decided to meet.

I drove a little over 30 miles for this date. At least, I was hoping it was a date. He said his car had broken down so we couldn’t meet half way. He offered to cook dinner and after we would swim in the complex’s pool. I get there, he’s better looking than the photo and much, much younger. He compliments me and we hang out for a couple of hours. The pool was a good excuse to see him in all his glory. I couldn’t believe I was dating this young man. I’m neither ugly or out of shape–I’m just shy and feel old. Too much time has passed for me to be dating this young thong-clad thing.

After dinner, we had drinks. I was tempted to sleep with him, but I’m not that kind of guy. I was sure that I didn’t offend him or anything. He said he was eager to see me again. As I go to leave and we swap phone numbers, he casually asked me for his $200.

I asked him what he was talking about. I was confused. What am I paying $200 dollars for? It was a date. He claimed that it was on the last email he sent me and that I had responded. I checked my phone and sure enough, it was there. How the hell did I miss that? I was embarrassed, to say the least. I paid a professional hustler and got screwed without the sex.

I doubled check all of my emails now and there’s a lot of these guys out there. Am I really losing it here? Has time changed so much that I can’t find a decent date? Are they all hookers?

-Will-Not-Pay-for-Sex

Dear Will-Not-Pay-for-Sex,

No longer do we have the pleasures of the hide and seek. Nor do we have the time to go on a date, get to know each other for a while before plunging into sex. Back in the day, you met someone, talked to him and after a few times of seeing him, you asked him out. The first date you’re all nervous and scared, but you were also excited about the unknown. What does he look like naked?Is he a top or a bottom? How big of a man is he really? So after a couple of dates, you make out. After making out for a few weeks, you have sex. All your fears and hopes come to fruition. That was dating. Today you go online and you know exactly what you’re getting. Sometimes even the price.

Don’t be embarrassed, even I don’t always feel comfortable dating today. I’m afraid of not getting to know the guy before we have sex. I’m afraid he’ll never want to see me if I do have sex or if I don’t. It’s a no-win situation. You’re not alone in this issue, it happens more than you think–more than your friends will let on. Sex is a commodity this century.

You have every right to ask if they’re professionals. You can also let them know in advance that you’re not going to pay for sex. Put that on the table the minute you feel something is fishy. Or lay it out there for the first meeting. This will avoid uncomfortable situations for you. Don’t be embarrassed. If you take a look at some of those ads. You will see that there’s a hidden cost in the ad, if not a blatant suggestion. Look for ads that are sex for pay. Some of them are “STUDent looking for a Generous man.” “Let me ease your tension.” “Looking for older men.” “Let’s P(l)ay.”

Look carefully at the emails before you commit or you’ll pay for a good view and no sex. If you have gone through a similar situation let me know. I would love to hear how your date went.

-Andres