express yourself – don’t repress yourself

express yourself

When I was a young teenager, I had that dream of becoming a Hollywood star, like all teenagers do. In that hypothetical future of mine, I imagined that I would be a star that many generations to come would remember, not have my five minutes of fame and become forgotten like Lindsay Lohan, but something more like Jude Law. As the years passed, I had another dream on top of the old one – I wanted to become a star that would be inspiring to all the young children out there. Be as it may, my life has taken a different course, but I’m extremely happy that I became a writer and am able to share my words of inspiration with a significant number of you.

Recently, I thought about the many people out there, especially gay, who cannot express themselves in the right way, and thus live a life that was not meant for them. Yes, listening to Madonna might have helped a bit, but still, it is I who was thinking about these things in the previous month. So let me start by saying that yes, I still have difficulties expressing myself and living by the very popular and cliché “be who you are and never change for anyone“ saying. Somewhere in my late teens, I realized I had been living by the rules set by others. I kept pushing my sexuality back, not realizing that it was extremely important for me to come out to the world, and regardless of being accepted or not, do the things and live the life I wanted.

So the time came for me to start university, and I thought Sydney would be the perfect place for me to start my life anew. And indeed it was, but I would only realize that a couple of months later. Once I got to Sydney for my studies, it was like I was still living the same old life I had in my hometown. I failed to meet interesting people who I would be comfortable around – perhaps that was my fault, maybe I wasn’t giving myself to the world, or it could have been that life was giving me more lemons. Eventually, I met several people, who are now amazing friends of mine. Not only did they give me the time of my life with their amazing personalities and constant positivity, but they also made me realize that my sexuality is not the thing that defines me. Nobody should care, and the person I take home at the end of the night is nobody’s business. Thank you so much for this, I know you’re reading. The next dinner is on me.

During one of our many find-yourself sessions, they told me that I should step out of my comfort zone and do something that I always wanted but never had the courage to. And that’s when I opted to enroll in several adult dance classes, just to set my old Britney Spears-loving teenage self free. And it really did work – after just a couple of dance lessons, I felt I was so much more physically and emotionally stronger, that nobody could hold me down. Whenever the music was playing, I was free to be whatever I wanted, and immerse myself into all kinds of movements without the fear of being judged. Dance gave me a sense of belonging and importance, something that was, as it turned out, very important to my being.

Now I look back and I fail to recognize the boy and the teenager I once was. Since then, my confidence, my happiness and my positivity have grown significantly; I have no fear of giving myself any goal that I want to achieve, and I literally feel that I can be whatever I want to be in that specific moment. It is being around people, opening up to them, and most importantly, trusting them, that made me realize the bigger picture here.

After all, we do live in a world where we are judged on different things, but the truth is – we also judge. And instead of being judged, I chose to motivate others. Through fashion, lifestyle, and life choices – I choose writing because here I can be 100% myself, and never feel bad about anything that I say. And it does help tremendously. So kiddos, blog up – you can do magnificent things. The only thing that you need to do was said by Madonna in 1989. Express yourself.