let’s talk dirty

Sex. It’s a wonderful (and awkward) thing, but for gay men it would seem that there’s only one way of going about having sex. One of you has to be the top and that means the other is going to be the one on the receiving end. While that’s a concept that certainly a lot of gay men enjoy, if your first response to receiving is ugh or ouch, then it’s probably because you simply don’t like it. And you’re not alone; plenty of gay men find they don’t enjoy anal sex. So what are you to do if you don’t really enjoy bottoming? Well, luckily for you anal sex isn’t the end-all be-all when it comes to sex so you have other very enjoyable options. Let’s explore the possibilities shall we?

This first one is something that I didn’t really know had an actual name simply because it’s just dry humping. Frottage is a pretty common method for satisfying, intimate sex. It involves the rubbing and grinding of genitals together to achieve an orgasm. It can be fully clothed or completely nude (which is probably more fun) and is also how many gay men achieve a hands-free orgasm which many claim to be more intense than anal sex.

Next up we have intercrural sex, which is often called non-penetrative sex. This is a type of sex in which one partner inserts his penis in between the closed legs or thighs of his partner. Now it’s probably a given that you should use plenty of lube but since there is no penetration whatsoever, it is considered a safer form of sex because there is no internal bodily fluid exchanged. This, however, does NOT mean you should just throw out the condoms.

Lastly, we’re going to explore a more broad subject that encompasses a lot of different sexual methods: foreplay.

Now I know some of y’all are saying “hey foreplay isn’t another way to have sex, it’s what you do BEFORE sex.” Well you’re right. And wrong. You see, foreplay can be a lot of different things. Oral sex, frottage, light and heavy bondage, edging, toy play, food play, and more can all lead to a completely satisfying sexual experience.

It’s important that you don’t look at these other methods of sex as alternatives because there really is no “regular” sex and it means different things to different people. Also, for any method of sex you and your partner choose you really only need 2 things: an open mind and good communication.

Have fun and be safe out there y’all!