love and bisexuality

Finding love as a bisexual person can be extremely difficult. Many people don’t understand bisexuality. People believe that bisexuals are greedy, confused, or even both. The truth is; we’re none of those. Yes, it is a fact that many people who are homosexual come out as bisexual originally to their parents and peers, and then come out as gay later on in life. However, this doesn’t happen to all people who identify as bisexual. In fact, for people truly strict to their label, this will not happen. Sexuality is a confusing thing. I get that. We all get that. But it’s time to give bisexuals the respect that they deserve.

Bisexuality is not a phase, it is not a “lifestyle,” it is who I am. I cannot change it, I cannot run away from it, it is a part of me. I cannot pick between men and women. I like both. If it were possible for us bisexuals to pick a gender to put all of our love towards, we would. It would be easier to explain, easier to have relationships, and easier to feel comfortable in our own skin. This feeling of discomfort makes it hard to find love either in person or online.

It is not easy to tell someone you’re interested in dating, or are in a relationship with, that you are bisexual. Lesbian women don’t think I’m gay enough, and straight men believe I’m just into heavy threesomes. Neither of these perceptions are even remotely true. With my experiences in the dating world, which are limited, the men weren’t accepting of my sexuality but the women were. Most of the women I’ve dated have identified as pansexual, and in general, pansexuals are very accepting of everyone. Before I even got involved with them, they knew I was bisexual. And it wasn’t a problem. With the men I’ve been interested in or dated, they all seem to turn away once they find out I’m bisexual. It’s extremely depressing and disappointed to have an entire gender I’m interested in be so narrow-minded.

Recently, I was talking to someone for months. I was interested in starting a relationship with them, but then I told them I was bisexual. They immediately stopped talking to me. It was heartbreaking for me considering we were good friends as well. People don’t understand bisexuality. And with the way they’re treating it now, especially men, they never will. It’s just depressing. I’m sick of wondering if I’ll ever find someone right for me who also accepts me. Finding love while being bisexual is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with.