Pansexuality has the potential to be widely misunderstood. Either the person you’re talking to doesn’t know or care what Pansexuality is all about, or maybe they do, but don’t want to discuss it. So you respond that you’re bisexual. You like ’em both. It’s less of a hassle to explain and is generally more acceptable in the eyes of popular society in comparison to Pansexuality. The biggest downfall with this approach is that this dishonesty with ourselves (and our peers) perpetuates the need to stay in the closet for fear of rejection from the community you most expected to be in your corner.

I am a huge fan of online dating. Last summer, I was in a different city than I am now, and ended up meeting up with about 9 people; a personal best. This summer has been more about meeting friends-of-friends or meeting new people through work. But I am still open to the concept of meeting people I never would have otherwise met. After about 2 weeks on the site, I’ve been ‘liked’ by 1530 members, and when I reciprocate alike, I stand to meet them in person 25% of the time.

I am pansexual if I’m being honest with myself. I like everyone the same, and I don’t discriminate. But in my OKCupid profile, and within my social circles, I am bisexual. I decided to take the next step and start identifying more with how I am, how I’ve always been but kept hidden. I decided to change up my search settings in my “Looking For” settings, and was given a multitude of different options to choose from, including:

Man, Woman, Asexual, Androgynous, Bigender, Cis Man, Cis Woman, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, Gender Nonconforming, Hijra, Intersex, Non-Binary, Other, Pangender, Transfeminine, Transgender, Transmasculine, Transsexual, Trans Man, Trans Woman, and Two Spirit.

Great, so now we’re being honest! My inbox is cluttered with (mostly) men that I really don’t have an interest in talking to, so I’m going to hope that by changing a few things here and there, I end up meeting people that have ideals more aligned to mine.

All I know is that the simpler the statement is, the truer it holds: I like people of all walks of life. All people are beautiful. I am attracted to the beauty within a person first, followed by their appearance. And all people deserve love. If that defines me as a certain way, let it be. Good things follow honesty.