I never actively elected to come out when I was in high school. I was kind-of ‘dragged’ out of the closet. People fear what they don’t understand and I think it was safe to say that no one really understood me. It was horrific; I probably would’ve described high school as the worst years of my life regardless but the last few months when people found out really pushed it over the edge.

I decided to tell someone who I thought was my friend when he asked me if I was gay (in an attempt to insult me). I thought about it for a second and decided I’d test his reaction by responding with ‘yes’. I mean, it’s not like there’s much of a difference to these people. I like guys and that’s all they really care about. Class let out and he immediately told every person he came in to contact with. Being called ugly every day was bad enough but being stepped around in the corridors while people shout ‘don’t rape me’ really sucks.

When I started college, I was afraid to tell any of my new found friends about my sexuality. I was worried that I would face the same reaction I got from people in high school. I knew it was going to be different though. In high school, I generally kept myself to myself, but for some reason, I wasn’t like that at college.

I remember on the first day, I met and befriended a guy called Joe (Who, by the way, is genuinely one of the most beautiful human beings on the planet). Joe had a lot to say but he was (Is) very shy. We discussed a variety of topics and bonded pretty well. I remember hearing a catch in his throat when he was talking about his ex. Poor Joe. Anyway, so the day flew by and when we left for lunch I started talking to Joe and asked if he wanted to get Subway. I was immediately interrupted by two peppy-looking girls who appeared at either side of us. They greeted Joe and asked him what he was doing for lunch. They were clearly trying to steal him, I feared the worst. He then looked at me and said: “I think we’re going to Subway”. They immediately recognized me as the decision maker and asked if they could join us. From behind, I heard a voice shout “Did somebody say Subway!?”. Before I knew it, the whole class had decided to get lunch together. We left as a Media class but we returned as friends.

The fact that I was starting to genuinely make real friends was something that turned me around. Eventually, I confided in Kirsty, one of the peppy girls I met on the first day who went on to become my best friend. Kirsty’s positive reaction gave me the confidence to start telling more of my friends about my sexuality and to start identifying as pansexual.

Nowadays, I’m more open about my sexuality. The people I hang out with are generally lovely, open-minded people. So when I meet new people, through mutual friends or otherwise, I’ll work it into the conversation when relevant (Usually when we talk about guys and I receive a quizzical look). My standard of life has definitely improved because of it.

Not a lot of people get second chances to come out. I was lucky because I didn’t actually get to the first time around. However, the second time was amazing. I can only describe it as beautiful and I’m happy to have such amazing friends who accept me for who I am.

So I sayeth unto thee: dear reader, be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be open about your sexuality and tell other people. It feels a hell of a lot better than bottling it up, trust me. Also, if one of your friends decides to come out, be there for them. They’re going to need you.