Being a man (gay or straight) in today’s climate is very… strange; for centuries, we’ve been taught that our alpha dominance is absolute, and that no action, decision or thought can be done without our approval, input or acknowledgment. These days we’re almost obsolete. Needless to say, we’re living in the Age of Women and we have no idea how to deal with it. Red Riding Hoods aren’t afraid of Wolves anymore. The Beauties have become the Beasts. Cinderellas are no longer waiting to be kissed and saved – they’re saving themselves. It’s all gone weird!
Additionally, the world has changed in terms of the imposed expectations about our appearance, eating habits and even the way we breathe, causing bonus anxiety and forced effort. Instagrammed and filtered realities, celebrity role models, expensive lives on average salaries, glitz and glam of Hollywood… and all the musts that follow aren’t exactly our idea of healthy confidence. Essentially, we’re operating on a system of the expected rather than the inherently wanted, leading us to feel mediocre (for the most part) or barely-there. Don’t think that boys and men don’t need help with self-esteem, because they do! Oh, they so do.
To all the men who are looking to save themselves from the claws of the unapologetic society and live a happy, confident life – here are a few tips that will hopefully help.
Open yourself to mindfulness
In case you are unfamiliar with the term mindfulness, it’s time you learnt it! At its core, mindfulness is an idea/term used to help a person focus on the here and now, with no fear or judgment. All five senses (sight, touch, hearing, taste and smell) are included in this technique of building awareness of the moment and are used by many bodybuilders to gain muscle mass. Mindfulness will help you become more centered on your self-confidence and all positive aspects of your life.
Believe in your ability to make sound decisions
Your decisions are constantly questioned and you’re reminded of failure every step of the way. To build self-confidence and learn to live a life where the only opinion that matters (for yourself) is your own, learn to teach yourself that you have the intelligence and experience to make healthy decisions for yourself. Everything else you do in life depends upon your ability to believe in yourself. It’s that simple.
Constantly evolve – for you
Staying committed to only one mental frame that, in all honesty, hasn’t really been working to your advantage is silly. To expand mentally, emotionally and physically, you need to evolve with the current moment. Explore new techniques of finding inner peace, try new exercises at the gym, meet new people, drop bad health habits and adopt new ones… find people you admire and turn them into your real-life role-models, etc. Challenge yourself to succeed constantly as that’s the only way to self-improvement. The more you discover, the more you learn, the more you progress.
Improve your look for a greater good
Just as you are to push the envelope with your current knowledge, you should do the same with your body and style. Accepting changes and going with the flow will open so many doors! If you are fitted to a frame, you cannot escape the life you are suffocated in. If you aren’t happy with your current wardrobe, ask your fashionista friend to raid your closet and take you shopping. Your current haircut is making you look older than you are? Change it! The fact your teeth are crooked is making you feel insecure? Get invisible braces and smile your life away! The most negative things that bother us are, in fact, very simple to solve – we just need to know where to look for a solution.
Embrace your mistakes and failures
Stop the praxis of being judgmental about your failures and accept them with grace. Rather than be ashamed of your past mistakes, learn to recognize the lessons you’ve learnt from them! Also, know that everyone fails from time to time – the difference is, they’re keeping it quiet.
Change your mental tape and focus on your assets
Be very careful of what you are thinking! Don’t trust your negative thoughts when they spring into mind; rather, replace them with affirmations focused on your intellectual, physical and personal assets. List all the positive things you’ve got to say about yourself and say them out loud. Confident men do it all the time!