the misadventures of dating as a bisexual

Contrary to the popular belief that bisexual people have double the dating options, dating as a bisexual can actually be a very frustrating experience. Double the options just means twice the amount of people to weed through. Below are just some examples of the dating calamities that bisexuals experience when trying to navigate the world of dating. Maybe you’ve experienced some of these yourself, in which case I’m sorry. But look at the bright side, you’ve walked away with good dating lessons under your belt and some awkward stories that you can laugh at later (like 3 glasses of wine later). Or maybe you haven’t experienced any of them, and hopefully you won’t, but maybe you’ll enjoy reading about it.

1. When straight people ignore the fact that bisexual means you’re still interested in the opposite sex. Picture this: It’s Saturday night and you’re hanging out with a group of friends. You start flirting with this really cute guy that happens to be a friend of a friend. He’s funny and makes great conversation and you’re feeling good about the way things are going. Somewhere between the tequila shots you inform him that you’re bisexual and it seems that it’s no big deal to him at all. The drinks keep flowing and the conversation keeps going. Suddenly he starts talking about a girl he’s been kind of seeing. And then he pulls out his phone and shows you a picture and says, “I’m so glad you’re a bisexual because you can appreciate this, she’s hot right? I’m into her.” Wrong. So very wrong.

2. The inevitable invitation to a threesome. I think this is self-explanatory if you’ve been on Tinder or any other dating app. The heterosexual couple looking to have a threesome is ubiquitous. Not to mention that the situation is even worse in person. Imagine how awkward it gets when you’re flirting with someone at the bar and then all of a sudden their significant other comes over and joins in. This is cool if you’re interested, but extremely disappointing if you’re not.

3. Being assumed to be a slut. We’re not even going to tackle the obvious slut-shaming issue that’s involved in this one, that’s a longer conversation for a different day. But let’s talk about how some people don’t think that the words monogamous and bisexual can go together in the same sentence. Unfortunately telling people you’re a bisexual can automatically attract the people who just want to hook-up and chase away the people who are looking for something more serious. Once again, this is cool if that’s what you want too, but not so cool if you’re looking for an exclusive relationship.

4. Encountering people who are worried about dating a bisexual. Being told to your face “I wouldn’t date a bisexual because I don’t think I could trust them and I don’t want to have to compete with two genders,” hurts a little (a lot) bit. Enough said.

As dismal as all these dating mishaps may sound, don’t get discouraged. It may take a few tries to find someone worthwhile, and you may have to bypass a few threesome-seeking couples, but hopefully you’ll find what you’re looking for. Don’t let stereotypes and stupid people hold you back. After all, you’ve got double the dating options, right?