what defines an open relationship?

We have all been in one. Maybe we hadn’t considered it that way. At times we were not aware that we were in one. Sometimes we are so in denial that we trick ourselves that it doesn’t mean anything. Someone gets hurt at the end. That’s the only part I don’t like about an open relationship.

When I think about it, I cringe at the thought of cheating on my lover. I feel judgmental to those who are very open about it. Yet, I’ve done it. I have been on one end or the other of a love triangle. Granted, at one point we did it on purpose to get back at someone.

There was a mean girl in class who called me a fag. I slept with her boyfriend that same night. He enjoyed it, she broke up with him. No one in school called me names after that. That was my goal all along. Don’t bully me.

What exactly is an open relationship? With the heterosexual members of our society they call it swinging. Other’s call it Wife Swaps. Some still call the whole thing cheating. They go to club that have names of colorful animals. Whatever they’re named is all the same thing. Infidelity.

Among queer people it is called an open relationship. One or both partners sleep with other people, sometimes they both sleep with other couples, or the simply add a third to the mix. It’s pretty basic in its concept. The main difference is that anyone can sleep with anyone, whereas with the heterosexuals, it tends to always be male to female only.

Okay, so that basically covers heterosexuals and homosexual relationships. But, what about when both worlds collide? When it’s no longer so black and white? The lines are blurred and it all becomes different shades of gray on gray.

Think about it for a moment. There are wifes that do allow their husbands to sleep with men. They love their man so much that they allow it in order not to lose him. Is this an open relationship or a one sided open relationship? When the wife doesn’t know it’s called being on the Down Low. When the wife finds out, it’s called cheating.

We as humans pride ourselves that we can do something and be nonchalant about it. Some of us do it because our partner wants to do it. Others are curious about the whole thing. When an open relationship develops it comes with rules and regulations. These rules must be followed or someone will get hurt. The reality, everyone gets hurt, no matter how careful you think you are.

Personally speaking, I’m very selfish and wouldn’t want to share my man with anyone. With that said, I have to admit that I’ve been with men who are married to women, who are in open relationships, and that have been unfaithful to their spouses. This does not give me the right to tell on them. It just happened that way.

I can’t blame them for doing it. I can’t necessarily blame myself either. We all want to play the innocent card and say that we don’t do it. Let’s be honest with ourselves. We all do it. It’s human nature. We will hurt someone in the long run, or we will be hurt at the end.

So if you are in an open relationship, or you are asked to be in an open relationship. Make sure you know what you’re getting into. You might think it’s a great thing, which it can be. It’s not for everyone. Be careful and be safe.

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Andres has a lot of experience, and he’s very knowledgeable about most things–just not everything. He’s always learning new things, having new experiences. When you meet him, you will wonder where he has the time to do so many projects, how he comes up with his wild stories, when does he sleep, or where does he get his energy?