when did i go from twink to daddy?

When I was a Twinkie we weren’t called Twinkies. We were called Chicks and I had a lot of Chicken Hawks after me. These were guys in their forties and fifties trying to regain their youth. Mind you, back then forty-five-year-olds did not look as good as they do today. By today’s unreasonable standards they looked old, creepy and fat. Today forty-five-year-olds look thirty-five. Healthy, young, handsome, and very active. Forty-five is the new thirty-five. Not back then.

I used to be a commodity back in my youth. I had the Boy George body with the Flock of Seagulls hair and a nice tight bubble butt. By today’s standards, I was a Twink, smooth, clean cut, and very needy. I could manipulate the chicken hawks to buy me drinks, take me to expensive dinners, fight for my attention, take me on trips, etc. I knew how to use my good looks to get what I wanted from chickenhawks. Especially the straight ones. Maybe that’s why I never had a long term relationship.

It is now 2015. I am now considered a Daddy. Do you want to know how I know? I became a Daddy. I didn’t realize it. Even though two of the guys I was with kept calling me Daddy while we were having fun in bed. It didn’t click. I still think and act as if I am in my thirties.

I’m also Mexican, so when someone calls me Papi, it has myriad definitions for me, as in: Ahí Papi, que guapo estas, – You’re good looking. Papá, me das un cinco? – I need a fiver for my candy. Oh Papi, pégame, – Daddy spank me. Éstas come una Papa– you’re as big as a potato. No soy el Papa, – I’m no Pope. And, Padre- I’m not your priest nor did I father you.

So, I looked the word up. It didn’t occur to me that the definition might have changed. Chicken Hawks is an archaic term as it is. I had to figure out what these kids were saying when they Daddy.

Basically it’s a man who is past forty, smooth and hairless, a little on the heavy side, but not too much; and still looks good without a brown paper bag over his head. The only thing missing is a million dollars in the bank and I could be a Sugar Daddy.

I went from being a Twink to being a Daddy, in as little as ten to fifteen years. My goal for these coming years is to be a fit Daddy and hope that the next time someone calls me Dad, it’s a child my husband and I adopt. It’s a scary world out there and if you’re not careful with the terms used by the youth, you’ll get into a lot of trouble. I almost did.